But NOT ME. I’m melting, I’m melting! Maybe that’s it –maybe my brain is melting and my memories all around it are melting too…IT’S TOO DAMN HOT! I am trying to gather the funds to purchase an additional portable air conditioner from Wal-Mart or somewhere, but with all the medical bills, it goes slowly.
So I am spending most of my time in as few clothes as possible and the coolest things I own which isn’t much. I will say that I am learning to accept and love my naked body for just what it is at this age; still curvy and packaged in sexy underthings. I wear my coolest nightgowns or sleep in the buff with the air conditioner on all night.
I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time sleeping when I am hot! I try to watch movies that have the ocean in them -or even a nice hotel pool. My idea of a vacation now is an air-conditioned hotel room that has a huge luscious swimming pool and a bar in the center (even though I don’t drink).
I’d settle for a free trip to Alaska like the Travel Channel sweepstakes is giving away. Anywhere there is snow or it’s cool would be fine with me.
Tonight’s recovery is focused on CONNECTIONS. I connect best to people when I am not sweltering I admit, but as long as I can reach out and hug someone it really doesn’t matter. The program says the best way to build connections is through service. I disagree and find that a tad misogynistic. Women are born into service and taught and raised to take care of and wait on others their whole lives. I want to help someone by making them laugh or smile or hugging them when they need it; if I can help them another way, like giving them a ride to an NA meeting, a card, or making them food, then so I shall. But I have found out the hard way that too many service commitments robs us of the precious energy and love we contain within ourselves for those exact moments. Don’t get me wrong, I will always help a newcomer as I was helped, but connection means many different things to many different people.
It’s a spark or a flame, it’s a desire to reach out and touch someone physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually or whatever. To help someone in pain, and as I have said for thirteen years, to NOT take ANYONE for granted!
I am STILL defining it while working on my 4th step. What does connection mean to YOU???
Let me know and peace, love and very cool blessings!