Still Waiting to Exhale

First, I apologize to my readers for not blogging in forever.

I have been working through a maze of craziness. Happy to report my Brit friend is recuperating nicely from his heart attack and we have removed sexual activity from our relationship.

So I have enjoyed several showers, bubble baths, and Starbucks with my younger software engineer.

Hey at this point I am still trying to figure out who I am and what I want as I approach nine months of recovery and clean time.

I feel… I feel… I feel like I’m too old to be young and too young to be old.

Am I going through a “no life” crisis? What I want more than anything is to have the resources to take a trip somewhere and have a REAL VACATION.

Instead, I am still waiting to find a new renter, paying the bills, going to doctors appointments, and binge watching Sex In the City. I envy those characters their youth, looks, and freedom.

I think it’s safe to say that I am going through a shallow phase.

I feel antsy, bored and burned out and really need a change.

I am putting more effort into job hunting, but zero effort into making any new friends.

I am worried that I am enjoying being alone which could lead to isolation which could mean trouble.

I am going to just two meetings a week and justify that I don’t have any energy left for anything else.

Taking vitamins, blood pressure, and naps on the weekend is not the best lifestyle for a woman like me.

I need some action! But…what?

I keep looking for something. Will let you know when I find out what it is.


Peace, love and blessings

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