I said last night that I am so ready to change and so into my recovery, and I hear shares that reflect back to me, and then I realize that change does not happen overnight. I learned something important about myself today. I have always dissociated to escape my trauma and pain. Even sober I am continuing to dissociate to stay out of my body, and I see areas besides drugs where my dissociative behaviors continue. I know now that this will not change quickly. It will take me time and practice learning how to be in my body again comfortably. I first have to learn that it’s safe to be there. It was revealed to me that I have not been in my body for decades and I have not been clean and sober for Christmas and New year’s Eve for over many decades. Wow. What powerful insights I have been given! I look forward to service work, and opportunities to grow and change in my recovery.
Just for today, I plan to be open to the journey, willing to change, yet mindful of the patience I will need with my PTSD and Bi-polar diseases. Please share how you feel about changing while in Recovery or in general about anything. peace, love and blessings… remember the best gift we can give is our clean selves to share experience with our loved ones, and make new memories.
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Dissociation. It’s the company of ME.