The Journey Back Again

It has been the longest absence from my blog that I have had to experience yet. Unfortunately, I doubt you will believe me when I say that I have been ill for a long time, and that the experience of being ill in and of itself was tougher than normal, as I have not had an illness take me down that hard and for that long in many years.

What started to be believed to be a reaction to the Flu shot emulating symptoms, became a week of horrid aching and fever and thirst, and a trip to the Urgent Care where I was told it was an upper respiratory infection and put on antibiotics for five days (which did not alleviate the illness or the fever, and just caused gastrointestinal problems too). About another week after that I ended up at the ER asking for fluids and blood testing to see if I had an infection in my system or a recurrence of Cytomegalovirus that had hospitalized me five years ago, and took months to heal.

I was left with the usual treatment and accusation of being in withdrawal. Once in recovery, I decided you never get believed again and will always be left suffering with the ridiculous diagnosis of withdrawal, even if you try to explain that you have been down that road and this is not what you have, and the symptoms started way before you stopped taking your suboxone.

I was too weak to drive, to get out of bed, or even to type, so I had to withdraw from the class I was in, which I will be charged for anyway.

I have stated many times that the fear that threatens my recovery is of being left in pain and to suffer -God forbid I get in a bad accident or get cancer or something. The country has a monster opioid addiction problem and I understand that; was part of it at one point. But what happens to those who need to be treated for pain or illness and are not due to past history?

There has got to be an answer to this problem somewhere. There has got to be advocacy for those who are not abusing drugs and who need them to receive them.

This is an area I need to research. I wanted to have this website so that I could share my experiences with others in recovery or others who may know someone in recovery…or even for those who are just interested.

If anyone has any information about the pain management problem for those in recovery, I would love to hear about it. There is a contact email attached to this website now. Talk to me.

Peace, love and blessings…to all.

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