Down for the Journey


The path to recovery is always blotched with obstacles.  We continue what we believe is a straight path forward to remaining clean and sober.  We attend meetings, we tire of our 12-step work and make connections to others, falsely believing they are wiser than we are, and can keep us on track.  Then we realize that we must turn inward.  Ask the hard questions of ourselves and be RAW HONEST WITH OURSELVES.  We begin to question things with a new perspective and a clear head.  We lose sight of past goals and begin commitments to new goals.  We continue to walk…because we know we will continue to grow and learn and change, if we just continue the path.

Then a curve ball comes our way. We are faced with temptations and triggers all around us.  We may fall; we falter — but because of our commitment to our Higher Power, we get up again.  What did we learn?  Are we on the right path to begin with?  We know that Harm Reduction is a realistic model –for some.  We know that self-medication is a symptom of something deeper….We have learned about relapse prevention and what it looks like for us, and a model of what it may look like for others.  But we continue to question the journey….

Why are we here?  What the hell are we doing here?  Is the sole grand purpose of life to serve others faithfully without judgement?  Is that a challenge we can overcome?  Am I ON THE RIGHT PATH? Will it be a lonely path to continue to walk?  Perhaps I should be out ghost hunting?  Perhaps I should start a half-way house?  Perhaps I should get a degree in Addiction Counseling and try to help others like me?  Perhaps I should start a hospice home and help those who are terminally ill to not be afraid to die and to be able to do so peacefully and comfortably?  Perhaps I should write a book?  Perhaps I should change careers and get back into helping to provide others with vocational training?  Perhaps I should get back to Human Resources instead of Harm Reduction?  Perhaps I should get on with learning to Podcast and get back into Voice-over work, broadcasting, and pursuing my dream of Recovery Radio?  Perhaps I should just learn something entirely new altogether, go on Shark Tank and become a millionaire?

Perhaps I am being stupid.  I do not control the outcome.  I KNOW who is in control of this life and it is NOT ME.

I am restless, anxious and BORED.  I AM READY FOR A MAJOR CHANGE.  I just don’t know what it is yet.  Does anyone else feel this way?  Email the mailbox I added to this website and TALK TO ME!!!!  contact@nmrecoveryhope.blog

In the interim…peace, love, and blessings to all who read this…

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