Well, it has been a long never-ending tough week. Last Monday night I got stuck in a construction stop not even a half mile from my home. After 15 minutes went by, I texted my other home group member that I was stuck and she said she did not want to wait on me so we cancelled our meeting together. Tuesday, everything was on track for me to attend my home group, but another member texted me she needed a ride because she was stuck 30 miles away. Poor planning on her part does not constitute an emergency on mine. I told her I could not pick her up (she can be selfish and demanding and it was time for me to hold my boundaries as I have been running her around for the last nine months). So just myself and the other guy in our home group had a meeting and it was okay as just the two of us. Wednesday I took a hot bubble bath and a break from meetings. Thursday I had to see the Doctor in the IO program for Suboxone. Somehow the blood test she got back on me said I was positive for all kinds of insane drugs that I swore to her I never touched. But how do you prove a negative? I was crying because she called me a liar and said I needed to stop lying to her and to myself. I have no idea how I could possibly have tested positive for PCP, Cannabis and Methodone! I told her, wouldn’t I have been all f@#$&d up when you saw me right before the draw??? First I texted my therapist and sponsor. Then I called my sister who pointed out that the doctor’s false accusations were triggering me and I needed to take care of myself. So I took another hot bubble bath.
Friday I went to finish my neuro-psychological testing (five more hours). When I was done, I visited with Dr. and we ended on a high note (I was almost in a happy mood). I decided to take my time going home. I drove the speed limit through the northern area and in the construction zone on the bridge on the highway leading home. Just after, I had to actually pee so I sped up, then remembered all the hardcore construction zones were coming up just around the bend. Just as I hit the brakes to slow down, out of nowhere, flashing lights. Result – a 261 dollar ticket! I was sooooooo mad at myself!!!
Another bubble bath.
Saturday morning I slept in too long but got a call from my bank asking if I had taken a $205 cash withdrawal at an ATM in Oregon an hour earlier….Crap. Someone has hijacked my debit card number. Had to cancel the debit card but couldn’t get to the bank to get cash before it closed. Without cash for the weekend.
Another bubble bath, and then a second to let go of all the stress accumulated over the past week!
So here it was Monday again, and I was really poised to go to a meeting. I left work at 1PM to get my hair cut and colored (which normally takes an hour and a half). This time, however, my hair turned BOZO THE CLOWN ORANGE EVERYWHERE!!!
Both the hairstylist and I were freaked out! First we tried to take the orange out with blond. After another hour went by, still orange. Then we tried brown and that helped somewhat.
Well, my bath is getting cold.
Peace, love and blessings…and bubble baths to all 🙂
NMRecoveryHOPE 