They say that NA heartbeats are when two addicts get together. I was outside of Santa Fe when I got a call from a friend in the rooms who said they missed me and invited me to come to the Friday night meeting. The strange thing is that I was thinking about him just a half hour before he called me by some weird coincidence or Godshot. I heard a lot of good shares on the topic of sponsors and it got me to thinking about mine and how we had fallen out of touch with each other so I found a new sponsor.
It was the push I needed to get me back to working on my steps. I thought about why we need a sponsor…it’s because we can’t spot self-deception on our own. Recovery is a journey, not an event. It takes effort on our part to open up and select a sponsor; someone we can be truly honest with and trust with our secrets. It is not their job to track us every day and solve all our problems. They say “an addict alone is in bad company.” …And if you’re sponsoring yourself, you’ve got an a**hole for a sponsor. I have been reclusive too much and am out to change that dynamic.
I spent time with my visiting family and my sister’s family this week. I realize how much I have missed them. I also realize how much I have missed my meetings off the hill. I brought my 8-year-old niece over for a girl’s night. We played with dollies and other toys I bought her; we did hilarious artwork together with markers and crayons and glitter paper. We painted each other’s nails; straightened mine and then braided each other’s hair. We played in the makeup. We even went for a nice walk after dinner. I love this little girl –precocious and yet innocent and unspoiled by the world. I will do my best to protect her.
Then today I am going on a picnic with a colleague I have been close friends with for many years. When I get back, I will work on my steps, then go have dinner with my elder boyfriend. Sounds like a great start to share with my new sponsor. I’m sure I will have much to blog about, except we glued fake glitter nails on me and I am having trouble keyboarding as a result.
Peace, love and picnic blessings to all….
NMRecoveryHOPE 